don't touch that dial, folks!
(hypnosis, noncon, induction directed at reader)
“Hello out there, ladies and gents, and welcome to the RBS Radio Variety Hour! I’m your host, Pat ‘Prince of the Airwaves’ Preston, and boy do we have a show for you tonight! Joining us will be world-renowned magician Suzy Dewdrop, and her lovely assistant and accompanist, Lola Blanc! As always, the RBS Radio Variety Hour is brought to you by Grandma Sally’s Cookies, made with the finest dark chocolate and sweetest sugar you’ll find anywhere! Now, Suzy, would you like to introduce yourself to our audience?”
“Yes, Pat, I very much would. Good evening, everyone. I’m quite delighted to be here, and I do so hope you’ll enjoy what we have planned for you tonight.”
“Now, when I first got a letter from Suzy saying she wants to appear on our program, I thought to myself, this dame may be hot stuff, but how’s she think she can do a magic show on radio? But we kept talking, and she’s darned sure that even from the other side of the country she can give you folks a show that’ll knock your socks off! So Suzy, what’ve you got up your sleeve?”
“Well Pat, tradition demands that I assure you there’s nothing up my sleeve~ No, everything I will need to work my magic on all of you tonight is right out in the open. My voice, darling Lola’s musical talents, and of course, I’m always equipped with the most powerful tool any magician possesses…”
“Well good gracious, Suzy, don’t keep us in suspense! What’s this secret tool you’re going to dazzle us with?”
“Your own minds, my dear, dear listeners. The human mind is a boundless wellspring of mystery and magic, and can work true wonders in the right hands. It works wonders all the time, or rather, there is nothing wondrous in this world but that thinking makes it so. The human mind had the genius to invent the radio, this brilliant apparatus of sound and light and electricity that allows my voice to travel across the world, but more than that, the human mind looked back upon what it had wrought, these calculated applications of the laws of nature, and saw magic in it, saw wonder. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to have this wonder at my fingertips, to speak and know that millions are hearing my words, my voice. You wondered, Pat, at my confidence that I could perform feats of magic over the radio. I submit that simply standing here, speaking into this microphone, is already an act of unthinkable magic. All I ask, then, is that you pay close and careful attention to my voice, which has gone to such great lengths to reach you, and I will add to the magic that is already here tonight as best I can.
“Now then, Pat, I shall begin my performance, if that’s all right with you?”
“Hm, huh? Oh, oh yes, please go ahead!”
“Excellent. Lola, if you would?”
tick, tick, tick…
~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~~~~~
“Lola is a woman of… many talents, but tonight she will be accompanying me with a simple metronome and with an instrument dear to my heart, the theremin.”
~~~ ~~~ ~ ~~
“The theremin is the most magical instrument I have ever encountered, and also the most sensual. The musician’s hands approach, but never touch, and that approach nevertheless creates an anticipatory thrill that is literally electric. Although you are unable to see the gentle, decisive movements of Lola’s hands, as though you were blindfolded, make no mistake that you are at this moment feeling her caresses, translated into sound.”
tick, tick, tick…
~ ~ ~~~~~~~~
“And as you listen, and feel, and hear my voice and these ticks marking the passage of time, you may allow yourself to relax into this experience, which starts at your ears but expands to encompass the whole of your sense and your being.”
tick, tick, tick…
~~ ~~ ~~~ ~
“The world around you fades,”
“time begins to slow,”
“your eyes grow heavy,”
“a fog of sleep beckons,”
“and at last”
“Now, while you rest and relax in this state of trance, I have one simple request for you. Whenever I say the words, ‘dearest listeners,’ you will obey the next command I give you, perfectly and unquestioningly, but you will forget on any conscious level that you were given such a command. You will feel, rather, that whatever you do is something chosen by you of your own free will, an idea originating entirely from your own mind. And now, dearest listeners, you will wake up with no memory of having been led into trance, so that I may give you a simply unforgettable show.
“For my first act, I will ask that you fetch an ordinary deck of playing cards. Card tricks are of course a staple of every magician’s repertoire, but never before, I believe, has one been performed with the magician hundreds of miles separated from the deck. You will begin by shuffling your cards, and dearest listeners, here is exactly the manner in which you must shuffle them…”
“… and that concludes my performance. Thank you most kindly, dearest listeners, you’ve been a truly delightful audience, and of course my deepest thanks to Pat for inviting me onto this program; I do hope I may return soon for another performance.”
“Why, Miss Dewdrop, we’d be delighted, absolutely delighted to have you back!”
“Thank you, Pat, I couldn’t have asked for a better host. Now, before I leave you, I would like to offer a few closing thoughts. I will have more to say on another occasion, but I shall begin with this. Dearest listeners, as you go about your lives from tonight onwards, I would ask that you approach the world with mindfulness and compassion. Mindfulness of your fellow people, of their joys and also their sorrows. Compassion for those who toil and strain and suffer, whether you are yourself among them or whether you find yourself placed above them by a mere quirk of chance. Mindfulness of how arbitrary are the prescribed relations and boundaries set out by our society, between man and woman, white and colored, rich and poor. Compassion for those who are hurt, abused, trapped in these distinctions and forbidden to deviate from the script that has been set for them. And I would ask, dearest listeners, that you be mindful of this: if this world you live in were a magic show, who dealt you the cards you hold, and what trick shuffle did they perform to stack the deck?
“Now, I believe I’ve taken enough of your time. Thank you for your attention, and good night, everyone.”
“Thank you so much Suzy, it’s been a pleasure! Ladies and gents, have a lovely night, and thank you for tuning into the RBS Radio Variety Hour, brought to you as always by Grandma Sally’s Cookies…”