say it
Cass wanders between the market stalls, taking in the sights and sounds and smells.
it’ll all be over, a falling star burns this city to ash in a month’s time, all you have to do is say it
She knows from long bitter experience that trying to force the prophecy out of her mind won’t help, only dig it in deeper. So she does her best to just breathe and let it be present, one little thing among all the other thoughts and sensations.
it’d be so easy! just a few words! when the seventh moon rises under the sign of the hawk…
She stops at a stall selling fruit, looks over the produce.
when the seventh moon rises under the sign of the hawk…
She picks up a couple of bright golden pears, weighing them in her hands.
when the seventh moon rises under the sign of the hawk…
She turns to the fruit seller. “Wh–”
you’re going to say it you’re going to say it
“What’s the price for these?”
you almost said it, you were going to doom everyone, this is what you are…
Breathe in. Breathe out. She pays for the pears, puts them in her basket, and continues walking through the marketplace.
you’re going to mess up someday, you’re going to say it
People chatter around her, cheerful and easy.
maybe you wait out this ending, but there’ll always be another one, you know how fragile it all is, and you’re going to break it
Her grip tightens on the handle of her basket.
even just a little at a time, you can destroy someone’s life right now, you’re going to say the words
A small crowd have gathered around a street performer juggling knives, oohing and aahing as he deftly catches and tosses them.
he sneezes and one of those knives goes flying right into that child’s face right there, just say it
Breathe in. Breathe out. She turns away and keeps walking, head low, gaze downward.
sayitsayitsayit—
A man shoves past her, jostling her basket, the pears falling on the ground. He turns angrily. “Watch where you’re going! Stupid bitch.”
his house catches fire tonight and he gets trapped under a burning roofbeam, just say the words! doom him! doom them all!
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
you’re going to say it sooner or later, stop pretending you can keep this in, you’re going to doom him, and the old man who lives above him, and the old man’s dog, you’re going to say it and they’re all going to burn, you’re going to say it right now
Breathe in. Breathe out. She picks up the pears, dusts them off, gently puts them back in the basket. A little bit bruised, but she’ll wash the dirt off and they’ll be fine.
you’re going to say it…
Cass makes her way back home and up the stairs. Eleanor is making their favorite stew, warm aromas of meat and spices wafting from the pot simmering on the stove. She turns to hug Cass, giving her a moment to put down the basket.
“Welcome home, love. Ooh, these will be great for dessert! Thanks for getting them!”
she falls down the stairs next week and breaks her neck
Cass freezes, caught between wanting to hug Eleanor tighter and feeling like she shouldn’t be touching her at all.
just a few words and you’ll seal her fate
Breathe in, her breath catches—
you’re going to mess up, you’re going to say it, you’re going to doom everyone around you, you’re a harbinger of destruction pretending to be a person
“Cassie?”
she loves you and you’re going to doom her, you fucking witch, you’re going to herald her death, unless…
“Are you okay?”
you get struck by lightning at noon tomorrow, instant, the divine punishment you deserve, just say the words say it say it say it say it
Tears are running down Cass’s cheeks. She opens her mouth, stops, tries to find words, tries not to find words…
“I –”
Eleanor is looking at her with concern.
“… I’m having one of my bad days. Worse than it’s been in a while. Sorry, I –” Cass takes a shuddering breath.
“Oh, love…” Eleanor hugs her tight, and Cass lets herself hug her back. Eleanor is soft, and warm, and smells like home. “I’m sorry the prophecies are like this, and that you can’t talk about the things you’ve seen. You shouldn’t have to shoulder all this alone. But I know what a good and caring person you are, and I see how hard you’re working to hold it all back, to keep people safe. And I want to be here for you in whatever ways I can be. I love you so much, and I trust you, and I’m glad you’re in my life.”
Cass is crying harder, her face buried in Eleanor’s shoulder, in the safety of keeping silent.
Eleanor strokes her hair gently. “It’ll be okay, love. It’ll be okay.”
Cass hugs tighter, still staying quiet. At least for tonight, Eleanor’s words can be the ones that come true.